2021: The year of personal growth with Offbeat Photography

When the topic for Offbeat’s annual challenge/theme was initially announced as The Year of Personal Growth, I knew it was time to set a goal that I’d long been putting off: I wanted to get more familiar with off-camera light and incorporate it into my outdoor photography. My long-standing, irrational fear of OCF had held me back for too long. Not really interested in shooting portraits or weddings, I still I wanted to add this skill to my photographic toolbox simply in the pursuit of being a better photographer. I publicly stated my goal for all to see, and then promptly avoided all thoughts of it for the next couple of weeks.

Finally, the day came where I mustered up the courage to dust off the two Canon speedlites that had been sitting on a shelf in my office, mocking me daily as I tried to ignore them. I spent a lot of time with the manuals just trying to learn how to change the settings and communicate with the receiver. I grumbled and fumbled and cursed a lot. 

My first attempt using flash was a commercial shoot for a local bike company in an old abandoned building, covered in spray paint. I was honest about my skillset but because it was a company I’d worked for previously, they encouraged me to try to get what they needed, with no pressure. I will forever be grateful for that trust and opportunity. I practiced in my yard the days before, and didn't sleep the night before the shoot. Somehow, with the teamwork of the people on location with me, I pulled it off. Insert shock and awe.

A screenshot from the webpage from my first commercial shoot using flash.

Next, I practiced portraits with my 10 year old neighbour during a rare snowy day here on Vancouver Island, flailing about with cold fingers, not knowing where to start with settings, but somehow pulling off a few decent shots.

Using a soft box as a key light and a speed light behind to help backlight the snow. One of my first portraits ever with flash. The snow looks more like rain, but I was happy with it for a first attempt.

Throwing snow while shooting the photo as the snow had stopped falling.

My husband and dog also got in on the action, patient subjects with a cantankerous photographer. I did a backyard ski shoot with a friend where hilarity ensued but I got a cool shot and made some great memories. I tried some mountain biking shots, getting devoured by mosquitos in the muggy summer night air, cursing my flimsy, broken light stand. I used a lot of tape.

I put a random call out on Facebook to have someone come be my practice model in the forest and did a very average job with an old acquaintance that used to go to my gym. But still, I was trying and learning. I attempted flash during a commercial shoot for a local brewery, backlighting the beer like a boss for another photographer that I was working with who didn't have any flash knowledge. 

This image was shot with two speedlites and a wide angle lens, in my friend’s back yard. I was laying on the ground shooting up while she “jumped” about a foot in the air off of a makeshift pile of firewood covered in snow.

An attempt at a night portrait with my husband. I counted over three hundred bug bites on me the next day. We also had a cougar very close to us, calling out and letting us know we were in his area, (google the sound, it’s haunting!)

One of my failed attempts at some night mountain biking shots.

I had a speedlite behind the tree to the view’s left, attempting to put some light on the subject.

I had a soft box to viewer’s left of the subject in this image. Again, I was really just guessing with settings at this point. But I was trying!

In September I attended Portraits in High Places in Banff, with the crew from Offbeat. Believe me, I never thought that I would be attending any workshop with the word portrait in it. But I wanted to branch out, meet like minded peers and learn something new.

I will never forget the first time we broke off into partners on our first day, given a light and a model and told to go create. Fingers crossed that I had a portrait photographer for a partner who could guide me, I quickly learned that he too had never taken a portrait before and we both looked like deer frozen in the headlights as the other groups quickly dispersed into their creative genius. It forced me to put my big girl undies on and start trying. And isn’t that always the hardest part? Just to start trying. I reminded myself that I was in fact paying a good chunk of change to feel this fear and be forced past it. And I did.

The first image I successfully created at the Portraits in High Places workshop in Banff. I will always be thankful to have had the amazing Maiya as my first, patient and supportive model.

Creating images completely out of my usual genres at Portraits in High Places.

One of the first portraits that I set up completely alone and managed to pull off at PIHP.

Learning to nail a “safe shot” was a major goal of mine during the PIHP workshop.

At the end of the year I even used my softbox in a couple of paid gigs for the local magazine I freelance for. Outwardly playing it cool, internally feeling like a wasp nest was in my chest, I set up my softbox and proceeded to take a ton of test shots before getting something that I hoped would sort of work out. And they did, with some photoshopping, and if you didn’t look at my unexperienced posing jobs. Oh right, don’t forget to look at the actual person too, Sara. One thing at a time right? Have I mentioned that I’m not a portrait photographer? But overall I felt proud that I’d tried. 

Using flash on an image for a local brewery.

One of my first attempts using flash indoors.

I did it again, with another portrait (wait, all of a sudden I’m taking portraits?!). I took all of my standard natural light images (this was also assigned for the magazine), and then asked if they had time to work on another shot with the flash. They obliged. It took so long (well, in my head it did, maybe it was 10 minutes total) to get that one right that I only submitted one created with flash. But guess which image ended up getting used in the magazine? Yep, that one.

I used a soft box with a Good AD200 to create this image for a local magazine.

Overall, could I have put way more time into flash this year? Definitely. But did I get out of my comfort zone with it as well? Yes. One checkmark for personal growth. 

But, as I look back now and reflect on the funky year that 2021 most definitely was, my growth as a photographer and person was much, much more than some technical flash knowledge. I could surely write on for pages about the tiny accomplishments I made and obstacles I overcame, that when combined, culminated in what was a most profound year for me. I’m still scared to put myself into uncomfortable situations, of course. But now I’m forcing myself to seek out those opportunities and tackle them head on. I have a community of photographers supporting me, and me them. I’m no longer scared to speak up, to give my opinions or ideas. 

Super grateful for Dave Brosha and the entire Offbeat community for being such a big part of my year. Here we are, soaking wet and loving life in the Faroe Islands.

With a lifelong fear of public speaking, (we’re talking literal voice and body shaking, dry heaving in the parking lot type of fear), I gave two presentations this year, one was to my local camera club - in person, an hour long. Really, if I could pick one pivotal moment from my year, that would be it. I also gained an insanely talented and respected mentor and friend, created a website I’m proud of, traveled to the Faroe Islands, grew my client base and business name a respectable amount and discovered a love of event photography. Those are just a few highlights on the tip of the proverbial iceberg for me.

Sports events and races became a personal favourite shooting genre in 2021.

So thank-you, 2021. Despite your best efforts to drag us all down, I can look back and feel proud for what I’ve accomplished. Bring on 2022, along with all of the fear and uncertainty, I know I can handle it now.